When the keynote speaker was finished giving his presentation, the emcee got back up to the podium and after a few brief comments, the room went silent.

A former colleague had invited me to a fundraising luncheon for a nonprofit and we were at the moment when everyone fills out their pledge cards.

I didn’t have a connection to the nonprofit and wasn’t particularly engaged by the event, so I started doing some quick calculations in my head. I tried to figure out what my share of the cost of the event would have been, so I could get out of there without the nonprofit losing money on me.

I’ve faced numerous situations like that, where I find myself asking: What’s the least I can do? What’s the bare minimum I can give?

If I’m being honest, I can’t tell you that I’m rid of that. But as our family aims toward MEANINGFUL GIVING it’s time to wrestle with a different question.

At some point in this process, we’ve got to know where we stand in relation to this question:

What is too much to give?

As you read that, I don’t want you to take that the wrong way. I don’t want you to picture some jackwagon in a smoking jacket sitting in a mahogany-paneled den sipping single-malt Scotch and trying to figure out how many zeroes he should add to the end of his check to the animal shelter.

That scenario assumes that resources are unlimited.

Our family’s reality is that our resources have an end point. So, within the confines of the resources available to us, what is too much to give?

How much of what we have – our possessions, our time, our personalities – would we be willing to make available for others?

I don’t know how you arrive at your answer to the big question. For me, I think you get there by asking tons of smaller questions like:

• How deeply would we invest our money if we felt strongly about a particular cause or need?
• Would you be willing to give your reputation?
• Would you be willing to lay down all the work you’ve done to this point?
• Would you be willing to give your health?
• Would you be willing to give the safety of your children?
• Would you be willing to re-engineer your schedule to free up time to give?

Somewhere in there, I’ll bet you rub up against something that feels like an electric fence. I’m guessing that when it comes to the present or future well-being of your kids, putting that in harm’s way will be off limits.

Good. Now you know one thing that is too much to give.

Keep asking questions until you’ve figured out the things that are completely non-negotiable for your family.

Once you’ve taken those things off the table and out of your discussion, all you have to do is figure out to what degree and in what manner you’re willing to give in the other areas.

What do you think? What is too much to give?

How do you decide?