I was talking to someone the other day who told me a story about events I didn’t know about and people who are strangers to me. The lady relaying the story seemed a little puzzled as to why I wasn’t more responsive.

I guess the look on my face told her that I didn’t know about what or whom she was talking. Unfortunately, I seem to find myself in situations like this fairly often. I find people bringing me into stories somewhere in the middle, after all the characters are introduced and plotlines explained.

This is especially true in these days of social media immersion, when it’s easy to assume that everyone has read and retained every Facebook post and Twitter update of yours.

In those situations, I use a technique that serves me well in many facets of life: I play dumb.

Seriously, it may make things awkward for a moment, but here are a few gracious ways to say, “I don’t have a freaking clue what you’re talking about right now”:

Catch me up on that. If someone is going through something that has developed over time, it’s helpful to know where and how things got started.

Who are all these people? If “Well, you know how Ricky acts when he gets drunk,” is a part of your story, I’m going to need to know who Ricky is and how he acts when he gets drunk. Don’t let someone assume you know who everyone is.

Take me back a few steps. Sometimes you don’t want or need to know the whole deal, but it’s helpful to know a few events that built up to whatever you’re hearing about.

Tell me exactly what you mean. At least once a week, someone will end a sentence with, “know what I mean?” and I won’t have a clue what they’re saying. Asking someone to tell you exaclty what they mean will usually get them to paraphrase it in a way that’s more understandable for you and them. This one can be tough, especially at the office, because it defies instinct to be perceived as if you don’t understand 120% of everything that’s said.

Say that again. This is similar to “tell me exactly what you mean” in the sense that 90% of the time, the person you’re talking with won’t say it again. Rather, they’ll re-state what they said in a more crisp, concise manner.

There you go. Next time you find yourself in the middle of a conversation (or blog post!?) and don’t feel like you know all the relevant details, don’t be afraid to hit the pause button and get up-to-speed with one of these conversation helpers.

What would you add to the list?

Three friends of mine wound up at the same lunch table the other day. Two of these guys had never met, so I introduced them.

For the rest of the lunch, it was almost like I wasn’t there. These two guys who were just meeting each other for the first time shared stories about their work, their interests and people they knew in common.

It was a great conversation, and even though I was sitting right there I wasn’t really part of it. All I did was get these guys to shake hands and then get out of the way. For me, I was honored to be a spectator to a connection forming.

What about you? Have you ever seen something like this happen in your circle?