Good at a few things

Leave the TV on long enough and it’s easy to see all the stuff in life that’s going on without you.

People are hunting for houses internationally. They’re cooking things with bizarre ingredients. They’re making moonshine in the hills of Appalachia. They’re on stage showing off their x-factors.

And those are the shows. The commercials are a different animal. Commercials are designed to show you that your life is empty and that the thing that will fill the void is the product being flogged.

Social media takes it to an entirely new level. Your Facebook feed is a constant stream of polished highlights from the lives of other people showing you the awesome craft they just made, the incredible trip they just took, their kid’s straight-A report card, and the shiny new car they just bought with a fat bonus check from work.

It’s rare for someone to post on Facebook that they bounced a check, backed the car into their own mailbox, or got passed over for a promotion at the office.

Much of what we see on TV and social media shows us a life that we’re missing, that somehow we’re not fully participating in. It creates an unrealistic pressure to be good at everything.

I’m here to tell you that it’s impossible to be good at everything and unnecessary to strive to be good at everything. But there are a few things worth being good at. Here they are:

1) Work

Know how to do a job, art, or profession and do it well. Work done well gives a sense purpose, and it puts money in the bank account, which ain’t bad either.

2) Family

Family is such a blessing. Bring energy and attention to the people you share life with most closely.

3) Relationships

Be good at creating and maintaining relationships. Give more to your friendships and professional connections than you take.

These three things – work, family and relationships – are all growth areas for me, by the way.

So on a list of things worth being good at, why did I pick these three? Why didn’t I pick eye surgery, foreign languages and rollerblading?

I picked work, family and relationships because these three will be with you for a long, long time. And each one, in a way, contributes to the benefit of the other.

Let’s be good at a few things and forget the pressure to strive to be good at everything. Sound like a deal?

Do Facebook updates ever feel comically over-the-top to you?

Friday Linking for Thinking

Time for another edition of Friday Linking for Thinking!

Here are two interesting reads from this week:

Could we BE more obsessed with sarcasm? at RELEVANT Magazine. I’m as frugal with sarcasm in my life as Subway is with mayo on their sandwiches, so this post got me thinking.

How Warby Parker’s co-founders disrupted the eyewear industry and remained friends at Fast Company. My favorite part of the article: “It didn’t make sense to us that a pair of eyeglasses should cost as much or more as an iPhone.”

And in case you missed it, or in case you’re hungry to read my stuff all over again, we had two posts up this week:

What I learned the hard way before Jim Collins taught me

If you want things to be dramatically different

What’s three x four? 

 

If you want things to be dramatically different

If you want things to be dramatically different in your life a year from now, the time to act is now.

If you want your revenue next year to be twice what it is today, you need to put the right pieces in place today.

If you want to be out of debt in a year, you need to spend your money differently today.

If you want to have a baby…you get the idea.

Plant the seed today. Get the fruit later.

What’s one thing you’d like to be different a year from now?

What I learned the hard way before Jim Collins taught me

A few years ago I wanted to see what jogging was all about, so I put on my tennis shoes and ran as far as I could around my neighborhood.

Several nights later, when I could move my legs again, I did the same thing. I ran until my body said, “No more!” and waited a few days until I could try again.

I repeated this cycle for a few weeks without ever seeing any improvement in my endurance.

Later I learned that there are better ways to get started jogging, and tried one of those successfully.

The new way I learned was to go slow and do reasonable amounts on a regular schedule.

What I learned from that first ugly attempt at becoming a runner was that intense bursts of desire, focus and energy had no power compared to consistently applied effort.

This idea was broadcast back to me in a big way in October at Catalyst as Jim Collins shared some of the ideas in his book Great by Choice: Uncertainly, Chaos and Luck – Why Some Thrive Despite Them All.

In his talk Collins shared the idea of the 20 Mile March. Click that link to get the idea fleshed out. It’s FASCINATING. But if you’re content with the grossly oversimplified version it’s this:

  • Companies that win know how much effort they need to put in each day
  • They put in that effort
  • They stop
  • They get up the next day and do it again
  • Over and over and over again

That’s one of the dimensions of great companies – they do this consistently.

And that’s how you get great at other stuff.

You get up and walk around the neighborhood for 30 minutes. Every day.

You read the Bible for 10 minutes. Every day.

You call 10 clients before noon. Every day.

You pick a different friend to call, text or email. Every day.

Not in a legalistic, trudging, “Ughhh, I gotta do this again?” kinda way. But just knowing that consistent effort applied over time is likely to have more benefit than spurts here and there.

So what about you? Do you already have a 20 Mile March? Is there something you want to make your 20 Mile March?

Friday Linking for Thinking

Time for another edition of Friday Linking for Thinking!

If you fired up your computer last week, only to face crushing disappointment when you visited on Friday, here’s what was up: I didn’t get a post up last Friday because Mary Craig and I were rocketing down the highway on our whirlwind trip to Knoxville, Nashville and back to Knoxville for seals on our adoption dossier.

Without further jibber-jabber, here’s some good stuff I read this week:

5 Early Birds Share Everyday Productivity Strategies at Fast Company. I think it’s obnoxious when I read about people who get up and do an hour of yoga, read half the Bible, write three blog posts, cook omelettes for their kids and take a new company public before 6:30 a.m. But I’m also a morning person, so I get it. This one’s for you, morning people.

3 Types of Goals You Need to Murder Today by Jon Acuff. These are great insights and right on time as we let our last remaining New Year’s Resolutions slip out of our hands.

Note to Men: It’s About Being Intentional by Rhett Smith. The key to being seen as a man by other people? Live on purpose. Live by design.

And in case you missed it, or you’re dying to get an extra helping, we had two posts up here this week:

The simplest formula for building a successful business

Three questions to ask when you’re facing a challenge

What’s on the agenda for the weekend?

Three questions to ask when you’re facing a challenge

I never liked it when the characters on Friends were mad at each other.

I wanted the writers of the show to make everyone get along and for everything to go their way. I thought it would be more fun and more funny that way.

Of course, that’s not the case. Conflict – even among friends – is what keeps a TV show moving. Conflict is the thing that will keep you in a novel for 500 pages. Struggle is what will bind you to a movie for two hours.

Conflict is a part of life. Difficulty, hardship, challenge – it’s just part of the deal. And as much as we might try to avoid it in ourselves, it’s part of what keeps our own personal stories moving forward.

But just because difficulty is a part of life doesn’t mean it’s any easier to deal with while we’re walking through it. Tough times are…tough.

We talked about tough times in our small group recently. In his resource Everything is Possible with God, Rick Warren talks about difficult circumstances. Here are three questions to ask if you’re facing a challenge:

1) Do I need my circumstances to change?

Is there something about the situation outside of me that needs to change in order for things to get better? What is it? How does it get changed?

2) Do I need to change?

Would this situation be resolved if I were to adapt my behavior or attitude? In what specific way do I need to adapt?

3) Do I just need to give it time / get some perspective?

Is this a temporary trial that will pass with time? Is there a way I can step out of this situation and see it from a different view to check if my heart and mind are in the right place?

Conflict and challenges are part of life. They’re part of what keep moving the plot lines of our life forward. But that doesn’t mean it’s any fun when you’re living through it.

Next time you find yourself facing a challenge, I hope you find these questions helpful.

Do you like it when TV characters fight?

The simplest formula for building a successful business

From 2006 to 2008, I worked on an MBA at nights and on the weekends.

I read case studies, did group work and wrote a bunch of papers. I read about a lot of companies, strategies and management styles.

It was a good experience. I’m glad I did it.

But in August 2011, I got another MBA in 11 seconds.

I was listening to Len Schlesinger, president of Babson College, give a talk at the Global Leadership Summit. He started his talk with the simplest formula I’ve ever heard for building a successful business:

  1. Find out who your customers are
  2. Find out what your customers want
  3. Give it to them

It’s so simple. So easy to remember.

You can generate two dozen questions about any new idea you might have or any enterprise you’re currently running using those three points as your guide.

What’s one practical way you would find out what your customers want?